No love is best

They say to live is better than not to have loved. Well I'm don't believe that, not anymore. The numbness from all the hurt doesn't go away. It just sits until your hurt again & multiplies. whether your hurt from your own stupidity or from others. It all hurts the same. Nothing is worth all the hurt in life. But I will say one thing I would not go back & change anything before I had my girls. I love them with all my heart & soul & that will never end. If I didn't have them life wouldnt be worth living for me. They are all I have. NO one will ever love me like Id should be loved. Why should I put whats left of my heart out there to be obliterated again?? Nope I won't risk it again. It's not worth it. I doubt it ever was. I am nothing & that's how it always will be. Just call me mommy to my girls that's all I am. But right now I can't even be that. I give it all to God because I feel too numb to try to change anything right now.